The Jealous Filipino

A dictionary definition of the word “jealousy” is the “mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.” In the American Heritage Dictionary, jealousy means “close vigilance”; in Webster’s Revised Unabridged, it is an “earnest concern or solicitude.”

Tie all these together and what do you have? An oft-stereotyped behaviour in Filipino relationships.

jealous

I say it not because I believe it, but because I’ve heard it, countless times, from university sociologists and from Westerners with Filipina wives and girlfriends (or boyfriends). Apparently, Filipinos are very hot-blooded.

You know that piercing look. You have seen that grit of the teeth. You hear that strain or that quiet rage in a voice that says, “Everything is okay,” especially when, to the person who utters it, something is, in fact, not okay.

“In no other country,” a British friend observed, “have I witnessed people going such great lengths to confirm their jealous suspicions: checking a lover’s cell phone on the sly, sifting through the other’s private E-mail.”

As a Filipino, I’d be none the more patriotic for saying this, but there’s something in my friend’s observation, I suppose, which rings painfully true. Just read the papers. On the front page, players in the political arena are bringing each other down (“fear of rivalry”), and officials are matched against others in fierce power struggles. In the showbiz and entertainment section, celebrity romances are sensationalised by introducing infidelity rumours: break up, make up, break up again. In the comics section, caricatures of various Filipino characters depict the dark comedy of love triangles and other infidelities. And stories written by metro beat writers often report a homicide in this barangay (the smallest administrative division in the Philippines) and that, carried out by an otherwise good-natured husband in a drunken fit of jealousy. Wives, too; one of the craziest headlines I’ve ever read was about a woman who castrated her philandering partner. (The thing eventually had to be sewn back to place.)

Ouch.

This is not to say that Filipinos are inherently murderous monogamists. It’s just that most are disposed to – well, express “earnest concern.”

Whether suspicions are warranted or unfounded is sometimes beside the point. Jealousy has its case-by-case origins, but here’s another important question to ponder: does it have a locale? Is it a weakness of the Filipino character? (Or – gasp – a strength?)

A closer look at the cultural makeup of the Philippines could shed some light. In a country that is predominantly Roman Catholic (majority of the 94-million-strong Philippine population have been baptized in a Catholic church) and with a soap opera culture that glamourises love forevermore, people here have learned to find security in faith and loyalty – and to fear the most minor departure from this norm. In a close-knit setting that emphasizes extended families, unconditional devotion to parents, and happy domesticity, many Filipinos nurture a great anxiety over abandonment. And in a tradition where love may exist without jealousy but rarely the other way around, the people here live to love the best way – perhaps the only way – they know how.

So don’t be surprised if you happen to have a Pinay sweetheart who cares for you hotly, uneasily, vigilantly. Instead be kind and thankful. In the dictionary of the Filipino, jealousy is the most twisted – and perhaps truest – form of flattery.

By a Filipino author

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From Courting to Love to Marriage with a Filipino Wife

Finding love in a complicated world is often a task that many find daunting to pursue. Love takes time and often younger men today seem to not want to ‘fight in the trenches’ to battle it out for the best there is.

Women of the Philippines are a very beautiful race regardless of age. Not only do these Asian beauties look great but their mind-set is why so many men are perusing them in today’s world. A global world living online while supporting friendship and happiness often find themselves caught up in love. Many times this unique long distance relationship turns to more and the two become very close over time. Those that find their relationship with a Pinay lady are happy to find and experience a unique and often unusual world from afar.

What appears to foreign men to be a childish act is taken very seriously by many Filipino families. Those who do not prepare themselves fully for the aspect of courtship are often defeated by their own good intentions.

Courting a lady in the Philippines usually begins by the entire family coming along on your first several outings. Not only is this a test of your true intentions but Filipino’s look for act of aggression and unusual behavioral issues that might be overlooked if they are not fully involved. Each visit to the family home often requires that the man bring what is known as a “pasalubong”, or a gift as sign of appreciation.

Some consider the task of courting to be a daunting issue that they are not prepared to perform. This true form of devotion not only pertains to dating with the mutual understanding of bringing the girl home at a certain time but it also pertains to not allowing any overnight stays as well. Those who are in search of true love in Filipino women will find that those who honor the great act of courting are in the end the happiest and most respected of all.

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Money Matters and the Lifestyle of a Pinay Wife

Many men who find love and happiness with Filipino women ultimately find out that the Filipina has a much higher appreciation of  money matters, than her counterparts in other countries around the globe. Not only does a Pinay have realistic approaches to cost saving measures for her family, she also finds ways to take care of her family far above any matter that involves money.

The recent influx of men coming to the Philippines finds many who are living on limited budgets. A multitude of these same men are often mind set on the idea that they are truly unable to support or find love in the Philippines due to their economic stand point. Many Pinay women have lived or worked for small money most of their lives and to find love is simply far more honorable than money itself. This true attraction to accepting a person for who they are and not what they are worth is a major draw for Western men who are looking for a Filipino wife.

Many men on fixed incomes or working for small amounts of money find comfort in knowing and courting an honorable woman from the Philippines. Those that rush to judgment or file for visa papers before knowing and understanding every aspect of a Filipino family are often the ones who end their relationships in defeat. True courting in the Philippines is a family tradition amongst many families who look out for the best interest of their children and the entire family tree.

Asking to court a daughter of a diligent family may seem ‘old school’ to many older foreign men who come to the Philippines in search of a wife. This tradition does not conform to the idea of whether a family is rich or poor, it simply relates to their historic traditions which many Filipino families follow. Asking for permission from a young lady’s family is what most older foreign men had to go through in their younger years. To those same foreigners, many find is a turn off but to those that understand the traditional ways of the Philippines know that this is the way to finding a true and honest Filipino wife.

Money, traditions and the ultimate end to a happy life is everywhere to be had in the Philippines. Those who lay the proper foundation to support a strong marriage and build a family in the right way will ultimately in the end be the envy of those who did not follow protocol.

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Ancient to Modern Superstitions of a Filipino Family

Centuries ago the Philippines had been developed by Hindu beliefs. Today these beliefs have come with a long list of superstitions, beliefs and ultimate ways which tend to alter the daily lives of Filipinos. Those who come to the Philippines in search of a Pinay wife often are subjective to many of these unique ideas. Younger Filipino’s often do not live their lives by these superstitions but many who live in the province or come from deeply rooted families tend to live by these beliefs.

Below is a list of beliefs that are sometimes whimsical and others that are somewhat off beat. When marrying, in a relationship or courting a family these traits can carry on unique conversations and keep a family ‘interesting’.

Wedding Superstitions

  1. Any young girl who is unwed that follows the newlywed couple shall soon marry
  2. If it is raining when you are getting married it is a great sign of prosperity
  3. To receive a gift of a chamber pot is a sign of great luck
  4. Throwing rice confetti will bring sincere prosperity throughout the newlyweds life
  5.  A newlywed couple should enter the new home together and head upstairs alongside one another so that neither one will over dominate the other.

Health Superstitions

  1. Red or sore eyes can be cured by washing them with fresh urine in the morning
  2. Asthma can be alleviated by putting a cat near the throat and chest while reciting a prayer
  3. Chewing banana leaves by children will cause tooth decay
  4. Sleeping with wet hair makes on crazy
  5. Parents or expecting parents who laugh at twins will they themselves have twins

Pregnancy Superstitions

  1. All windows and doors are to be closed to assist the mother in an easy delivery
  2. A pregnant woman is not allowed to cut her hair or she will give birth to a bald baby
  3. Sitting in the threshold of a home will make for a difficult delivery
  4. Do not consume food from a pregnant woman’s plate, doing so will make one sick
  5. Pregnant women should not cry as this will ultimately produce a newborn which is a crybaby or overly sensitive

In business and in life some things believed are often simplistic. Starting a business on an 8 day of the month is a sign of good luck. Particular body moles, marks or shapes are often gifted to those that will alter their path in life (An example of this would be—a mole on the top of one’s foot means he will be a traveler).

Many of these superstitions are put into daily life for some Filipino’s. Many Western men find it unique and often the beliefs of a Filipino wife or girlfriend does not truly alter their lives. Those that follow family tradition do so, on the request of parental requests. Many who come to the Philippines to marry or find a wife often are not introduced into these beliefs unless they give consent to doing so. In the end the beliefs of the people of the Philippines is extensive but in modern times these types of beliefs are fading into history.

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The Top 10 Reasons Why Filipino Wives are Eagerly Sought After

There are a large number of qualities to why a Filipino woman is sought after by love struck westerners. The following list of qualities is part of the freason that Filipino women are sought after by Western men.

1—Happiness in Serving— this stunning and often lifelong commitment is probably right where it belongs, in the number #1 position. This is the real reason why so many come to the Philippines to find a Filipino wife. Not only are they happy in serving their counterpart but also their children, their direct and indirect families and especially their elders. Often confused with the act of being a maid it is a tradition within the Philippines to teach female siblings to master the art of being a wife, even at a younger age.

2—Education—the value of education to most Filipino’s is very high. It is of the utmost importance for the eldest daughter of any family to be highly educated as her responsibilities to her sisters, brothers and parents rest in her hands. Her income will be spread throughout the family to support its future to educate everyone for a higher degree of living.

3—Family Oriented— Filipino’s are very family oriented. Not only are they in total control of the family you will have with her, but she will also be close to her direct family as well. No matter what aspect that the family is declining in or is finding trouble coping in, a Filipino wife will gladly step in and above all come to the call of duty.

4—Hygiene— though many Filipino’s live in poverty their act of hygiene is staggeringly high. Above all a Filipino woman will do whatever it takes to be neat, dress well and above all look great.

5—Thrifty — Being thrifty is common to most Filipinos due to their upbringing within a poverty-stricken family. Almost 70% of all Filipino’s live below the poverty level. A Pinay will go above and beyond ways to save money and make money last for future use.

6— Generosity— Filipino’s are known to give till it hurts, so to say. It is common that this practice does not always involve money but included dedication to the family, church or siblings.

7— Tolerance— This attribute is a great thing in any relationship as the ups and downs of life itself can often break the bonds of marriage. A Filipino wife is often very tolerable to conditions that she does not agree with but manages to ‘go with the flow’ to bring peace and harmony to the family.

8–Gratitude —Pinay’s tend to put a lot of importance on gratitude. This can and somehow does end in an act of being taken advantage of. In Western mentality this would not sit well but in the Philippines it is often the way of life. In the end this is a great thing as giving what you can to less unfortunate (not necessarily money) can and usually is a great part of their foundation in life.

9—Authoritative— again this is a good thing for anyone lacking in the “control” department. Filipino women will gladly pick up where the husband is lacking. From financial matters, to costs for the daily needs of financial matters, this authoritative quality is very important.

10—Sentimentality— this great feature of a Pinay lady is why you will see small and simple items that you gave her years ago still stored away in boxes for remembrance. This often includes small items like rocks or shells from your first trip together all the way down to the napkins from the first dinner date you went out on.

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The Cultural Beauty of a Filipino Woman

 

This past year and the multi-pageant winnings of Filipino ladies has shown the world why so many come to the Philippines for a wife. Their kindness, intelligence and their friendly manner attract many to the islands but above all their beauty is never ending. Recently the winner of Miss World, Megan Young completed a 5 winner streak for the Philippines, something which has never been done before. In these pageants not only beauty is subjective but their intelligence, composure and a hoard of other things are taken into consideration. This in itself is what the global community is seeing on television and without a doubt they are taking note to it all.

The Philippines is a crossroads to a multi-national region of historic events that changed the entire landscape of this great country. The Spanish not only brought their beauty but centuries ago the Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai and Indonesia traded throughout the Philippines. These traders and seamen not only came here for hire but they stayed and built lives, communities and entire regions from the ground up. This mix of worldly cultures has brought a beauty to the Philippines that are beyond comparison to any other Asian country.

The same reason that brought about beauty to the Philippines also brought about hard working, family bonded women who know the sanctity of family. Those who live together as a family, stay together as a family and rarely does anything break that bond.

Filipino women are very particular in their appearance. They often take something minimal and turn themselves into a maximum look. Western men enjoy this but in reality the culture is like that without the input of foreigners. In the Philippines it is often a unique practice to use skin whitening products. These products range from soaps, creams, lotions and even tablets. To Western men this is normally a subjective issue as most relish in the brown skin of the Filipino women. Pinay women will undoubtedly surprise the world with the care and time that is given to their overall well being and beauty.

A Filipino wife will not only take care of herself she will happily take care of her husband as well. From hair care to nails all the way down to the way you dress is often discussed to her compliance. You, your family and her life are all in her hands and she will gladly find ways to appease everyone.

As the world media shows the stunning beauty of Filipino women, the more the Western world will desire for something they don’t have. The words mezitza, morena and chinita are all terms that now have no real meaning to you. The lucky ones who already live a good life in the Philippines know these 3 words and much more to express the real beauty of a Filipino lady.

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Finding Love, Peace and Happiness in the Philippine Islands

Filipinos are hospitable in ways that are difficult to explain. Foreign men who seek out companions and wives find the basic degree of kindness in Filipino women a superior mark for the Philippine Islands. Even in times of trouble and hardship a Pinay will go about her daily life with happy thoughts and a supportive smile. Those that search out the company of a Filipino not only come for the love but also to live out a life of retirement in the stunning islands of the Philippines.

Women of the Philippines make superior wives. Their deep loyalty to family is set into their daily lives in ways that are not seen in other parts of the world. Through thick and thin a Filipino wife will exceed duty, honor and happiness in all that come her way. Not only does a wife in the Philippines possess these high moral ways she will also pass them onto any children that you may decide to have with her. Her duty will not stop there. She will help them achieve high standards in school as well as assist in any talents they may have.

 

Those who ask a Pinay lady for her hand in marriage must not take western mentality to those intentions. In the Philippines it is the honor of family tradition to seek approval and discuss marriage directly with the entire family. Even in courting it is best to not break true honor of the Filipino people and date without parental consent. This is just the first step in knowing and understanding Filipino tradition. Those in acceptance of the wishes of the family can also see why the sanctity of church is so highly valued within the Philippines.

 

Civil weddings are not all that familiar to the cultural ways of the Filipino people. Families dedicated to religion and life will want their children to be married in a church. These celebrations not only show pride to distant family and friends but is a direct consent of any religious beliefs.

A Filipino wife will always be looking over her husband, family and home. From cost effective measures that assist in bringing about a happy environment to supporting a nourishing mentality for everyone around her to see. Filipino women wake up and serve their husbands and families. They come alive in the morning and go to bed at night with a true appreciation for the day behind them and the day ahead. Those seeking that kind of stability and lust for life are sure to find it in the women of the Philippines.

 

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The Filipina Wife, A Love Never Ending

Women of the Philippines learn from a young age that family, love and marriage are sacred. Despite moral and financial ups and downs the value instilled to a Pinay lady is kept alive. There is a larger portion of Filipino women who possess these values and many who practice them on a daily basis. Not only does a woman of the Philippines stand tall and proud to preserve her immediate family, she will stand tall and proud for her married family as well.

Filipina women love to gain independence from their financial burdens of family, work and the low paying wages which burden a country. Often these women will go to great lengths to work while gaining degrees to break the mold that keeps them in a financial trap. Many of these women end up as OFW’s (Overseas Foreign Worker) who work abroad to gain knowledge, understanding and well-paying jobs. These jobs are often not only sought out for just their financial freedom but also for the financial freedoms of her family. A testament to the drive in a Filipina wife comes through her work, family, preservation of culture and church all which are kept in tune to create a happy life.

Those fortunate foreign men who find a Filipina to marry with superior values always are the ones that end up with a lucky life. Though men are considered the income source of most households in the Philippines a foreign man is a catch for even the humblest of Pinay women. A wife in the Philippines will always be the shining light in the family and her pride will show to those who know you. From taking care of the house choirs, to shopping for food and many other basic necessities a Pinay women will do it all and with a happy smile.

Western men who have grown seemingly tired of the moral decline of values are now searching the globe for better understanding and better lives. Those that seek out a Filipina wife are often beset with why they did not find this resolution long ago. The respect, care, flexibility, loyalty and dutiful tendencies to everyone around them allow for the world to see why so many come to the Philippines to marry. Many of these women are highly educated, hospitable and value the sanctity of marriage, a definite high mark for Western society.

 

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The Philippine People and The Kindness of A Country

Filipino wife will always be by your side

Filipino wife will always be by your side

Through centuries of change the people of the world have come to see the Filipino people as kind hearted. Not only are people of the Philippines sought after in friendship and business, they are one of the kindest companions to live a life with as well.

Dedication to family and to the people of their country a Filipino wife will always be by your side. It is the true nature of a Pinay to hold her family close and hold the one she loves even closer. Often in hardship the women of the Philippines will push on as nothing has ever happened. A Pinay will always sit in waiting, waiting for the perfect moment and the perfect time for all things to be great again.

Those who come to the Philippines to start a family find nothing to compare it to in the rest of the world. This not only happens for Pinay women but also for foreign women who come to the Philippines in search of friendship and love in Filipino men. Though a rarer concept for women searching companionship in the Philippines the act is gaining popularity. Today western women finding Pinoy men is seen more often in the cities and provinces of the country. This unique and overlooked aspect is a true testament to the kindness of a country steeped in tradition and commended on basic principles of marriage.

To vacation in the Philippines with a loved one is always a unique experience. Not only does your partner become your guide but the language barriers of the Philippines allows for them to barter deals or find directions. There are 100′s of languages to know and learn in the Philippines but the basic rule of three languages known as Bisayan, Cebuano and Tagalog are the norm. These languages intertwine one another and your Filipino wife often can adjust to the different languages of the region. With English being taught in most schools throughout the country having a serious talk or just a normal conversation is also a major advantage to living a life in the Philippines.

Children in the Philippines are taught culture, respect and honor to those around them. In a society set in tradition and dedicated to the basic principal of regard and admiration for those around them, where else in the world can one find such a place as the Philippines? From love all the way to basic language skills no other Asian country has come farther and no other Asian country has done it better than the Philippines.

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The Philippines: Where a Smile is Worth a 1,000 Words

The Filipino women have something to offer to the world

The Filipino women have something to offer to the world

World travelers alike have exclaimed in many ways how the smile of a Filipino is worth a 1,000 words.  Everyone can see it in photographs and anyone can experience it by just one visit. The kindness of a Filipino woman is simply unattainable in other regions of the world. Often those who seek happiness in life find their way to the Philippines on purpose and many find their way by chance. The lucky ones that find this part of the world by chance are bound to find a life of total bliss.

Often with things in life the ultimate saying “One Time Is All You Need” and here it is true beyond comparison. One time, one trip, one sense of it all and you will be hooked for life. The stunning beauty and sincere kindness of the Filipino people are found not just in their beauty but on the inside as well. The positive outlook that encircles the Philippine people is at first an act of astonishment. Once anyone lives in this harmonious aspect they too find the way of life here hard to live without. This ultimate act is why so many foreigners come to the Philippines and never return to their homeland.

The laid back ways of the Filipino people is enjoyed by the Western society which works grueling hours. In the Philippines time seems to generate at a much slower pace. The joke of the day is how things run on “Filipino Time” a tradition of being late and arriving without being hurried or straight in fear of time. These kinds of traditions beckon people to live in the Philippines for a lifetime and ultimately find the love of their life.

Family, lives and entire worlds change for those seeking out a life with a Filipino woman. From every process of marriage including the ceremony itself is steeped in tradition and altered by nothing. When marrying into a family it is not just the lady you are marrying but your responsibilities to the extended family is dully noted. In times of trouble and turmoil a kind hand of friendship and love go a long way in a world of simplicity. To know it is to be it, to live it is to understand it all.

The Filipino women have something to offer to the world. The extension of kindness, understanding and the ultimate goal of happiness is what they seek. The acceptance of this world is not of change but of traditional ways which lead to the ultimate path of life, love, forgiveness and the true definition of a life well spent.

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